ach neine!

Right I've decided to start setting myself goals as to enhance myself and all that.
So goal number 1: find a new job. Since mine SUCKS I definitely need to find something I can enjoy and stuff preferably before Christmas so I can actually buy some presents..
2: get rid of stooopid house in Brighton, as much as I would have loved to live there I can't and since ALL my money is going on it at the moment it makes sense to get shot of it, again before Christmas.
3: Buy a car, so I can get around and stuff..
4: Move out with loverly boyf
5: Start university again

So if all this works out within a year I should be ready to live happily ever after the end.
Updates will now follow, this means that I will actually start posting on 'ere again.. yay!

Just in case..

For the man who has everything...

Can anyone smell a uni drop out?

This week has provided me with some enlightening moments that I think are mostly down to listening to some half decent music for once. It struck me that I am only happy with myself when I'm in some sort of relationship and more specifically when I am in control of said relationship. Although I have been aware of this for a while I have found that living in Brighton doesn't really allow for any doubt or vulnerability since it is a place where opportunities are everywhere and everyone knows what they want to do. In short this is a city that gives you the chance to do what you want and doesn't care if you achieve it or not. This makes it hard to be in control of anything and with all the self confidence floating around you can often be left feeling a bit unsure.

So in light of this instead of running for the hills I have decided to embrace Brighton and start to actually enjoy being here and become the self assured person, I've been reliably informed, I should be. Living away from home is suppose to have a positive affect and I know its such a cliche but I do feel like I should be living each day as if its my last and at the moment I guess I don't feel like I am. I don't want to look back in 4 years and regret wasting my time waiting for something fun to find me.
The thing is that I don't think its actually being at university that has made me realise this but more just being out of Cambridge. Since Cambridge is so reluctant to allow creativity and individuality it suddenly feels like I've had my eyes opened.. So whilst I sit here avoiding my coursework as usual, it is easy for me to look at my surroundings and start to question whether I actually want to do this degree or if I just needed a big change in my life to gain some perspective..

Thoughts from beyond the kitchen..

There have been an abundance of posts this week mostly due to my work load and needing an easy way of distracting myself but also because I realised how much fun it is to have a little whine about stuff..
So yeah most of today has been uneventful, in fact me and the other 2 girls in my flat spent nearly 2 hours sitting in our hallway floor because it was warm. What I noticed was that sitting there seemed to induce more gossip and general complaining than say sitting on the sofa. I think its because its a new environment, it had that same feeling that you get when you're on holiday and you eat a lot. You know "my god [enter name here] has gotten fat! Oh god we shouldn't have said that... It's OK we're in the hall, we can work off all this bad karma with Jade Goody's Bad Karma Workout 3: Losing the racist in you, when we're back in the living room.."

I'm not sure its as satisfying as drinking fancy cocktails every night and meeting hot local boys and it almost always makes you feel worse in the end but what was interesting was the other day we were reading some rubbish magazine and there were interviews with random blokes and a few of them said that the thing they hated the most about women was how much they gossiped. That was clearly not a problem for some of our male friends who came and joined us and were actually encouraging the bitching - especially about men. These particular friends of ours have been known in the past to complain about how much woman bitch and moan about men but in the comfort of the unfamiliar hallway they could say what they really felt and used the air of occasion to actually admit that they enjoy a good bitch. It just proves that no one is immune to gossip and from our extensive research venting can actually help you see more clearly about things and definitely makes you feel good about yourself even if it is somewhat short lived..

£25..... What £25?

ah its a good day, I have new shoes, I had a roast(!), my room is tidy and I changed my bed sheets and everyone knows that there is nothing like clean bed sheets. I am still a bit ill and still haven't finished my work BUT as I write this ghostbusters just came on courtesy of Now! 25 Years so as Howard Jones would say things can only get better.. of course they could get worse but bleh bleh bleeeeh is what I say to that....

Theiving pikey bastards..

This week has been ace in many ways; it turns out that the university isn't there to screw you over and if you cry at the right people they will help you, they won't wipe your tears away and give you a biscuit like your mum does though but I guess you can't have everything. It has also been ace because I made a lush sausage stew which was lush (so much so that it needed saying twice).

The ways in which it hasn't been ace concern the same people and very similar problems. It would seem that paying the powers that be nearly £90 a week for a nice-ish flat doesn't mean that they will provide you with somewhere to keep your stuff without it being nicked. It is also (apparently) unreasonable to be annoyed when some theiving pikey steals something that we have left in our communal area.

Looking at it now, the biggest thing that has happened is actually quite funny but basically my flatmate Andy has an xbox and keeps it in the living room where the TV is, now if it had just been stolen that would be nice and straightforward but it hasn't, someone came in yesterday and swapped their, granted newer but nevertheless, broken xbox for Andy's which is fully functioning. The thing that is most frustrating is that when we told the warden it seemed like she didn't understand why were so bothered and as she very helpfully pointed out, it is a COMMUNAL area so if we leave anything in there it is at our own risk, which is fine except we trust everyone we let in. The people we don't trust are the cleaners, the student union people, random admin staff that work in the office, 'plumbers', 'electricians' and every other random person that the uni gives master keys to.

As you can see in the picture we had made some beautiful posters of our lovely lush boys and today someone who was in the flat destroyed them, no joke they actually pulled the faces off of them and when we went to complain, the same whiney warden spoke to us like we were ridiculous children. Tres frustrating because it would seem that we literally have no power and the more we complain the less they seem to care.

uni sucks more than your mum..

I think I might hate uni just a little bit, my classes suck, my mad budgeting skillz suck and my general student-ness SUCKS!
I have no idea whether I should just cut my losses and leave or stick it out and eventually fail the year. I also don't know if I even care, I guess I just don't want to feel the disappointment glare from my mum. I mean I'm pretty sure she'd be ok with it but deep down she'd be thinking 'what is this loser child of mine going to do with her life?'
aaah it sucks, I wish I could just live here in Brighton with the gays and just be happy and jolly with a simple life. When did it get all complicated and rubbish? I mean I have no idea what I would do but I think anything would be better than how things are now..
Will update when I have sorted my life out.

Birfday fuuuun..

So I am now officially 21.. 21, twenty one... TWENTY ONE.
No still hasn't sunk in. What is most confusing is where the last 3 years have gone, I mean I had a party for my 18th then my life seemed to spiral into a old age..

Anyway, birthday itself was ok, had family round for some very unsophisticated foodage and drinking which went down a treat - lots of screaming kids and mini quiches and also lots of lovely presents but i'll get onto that in a bit.

Actual birthday shenanigans were ace, I wore a pretty dress and got to eat noodles (well actually no, I had a rice dish, but whatever), got a bit squiffy and danced around - all one can ask for on their birthday I think.

So presents.. Well my lovely and fab NBF/boyf Simon only got me a TEA POT! As you can see from the picture it is pretty ace and very well chosen! I also got some money and a lamp and a fluffy rug and a photo album and some jewellery. So all in all a good year!

The only thing that bothers me now is that the next real milestone is 30, and that makes me want to cry a bit...

Pramface..

Oh so this explains all the ASBOs.. It all makes sense now.